All
day breakfasts in a tin are the most heinous, offensive and vile food stuffs
that exist. Firstly, I abhor beans. Their smell and texture revolt and repulse
me, leaving me feeling violently sick. Not only do all day breakfasts in a tin
contain beans, but they also, and perhaps more offensively contain sausage,
burger, bacon, lamb cutlet, mushrooms and egg. Why would you put cooked egg in
a tin? More to the point, the percentages of the tin’s content on the back has
given me many sleepless and restless nights. Allegedly, the tins only contain
8% meat but more than half of the contents are supposedly meat. Worrying.
My
dislike for all day breakfasts in a tin was perpetuated by an experience I had
in the house that I lived in during my first year of university. Vividly, I
remember coming downstairs, hung-over, into our communal kitchen. My five other
housemates were standing around, drinking tea and chatting about the previous
night. Meanwhile, my housemate from Bolton, in her broad Bolton accent was
struggling to get the all day breakfast out of the tin. She shouted from the
corner of the kitchen where the cooker was, ‘Can’t get ‘t out, it’s stuck, tin’
s farting!’ Due to the breakfast’s horrendous texture and consistency, it was
literally making slurping noises as it came out of the tin. This was followed
by a ghastly smell of congealed fake meat and beans. Vile!
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